News and notes from Reston (tm).

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Treepocalypse Now: Everyone's Getting Into the Act!

Following the recent DRB decision to let some company chop down some trees and pipe 7-Up into Reston's pristine streams or whatever, someone decided that it was unfair to let some greedy for-profit company have all the fun! Informant Domenick, who calls himself "The Peasant From Less Sought After South Reston," wrote in to tell us that any random slob was invited to go in and cut down a tree or seven:

I received yesterday by mail an exciting offer from WSSI and the RA inviting me and fellow Restonians to “participate in a plant rescue in Reaches 1, 1A, 2, and 3 in the Glade.” Yes, you too “can remove any tree, shrub, or herbaceous plant from within the Limits of Construction (LOC) from now until February 8, 2009.” (Of course, one could be excused for wondering how it is possible to transplant anything into frozen snow-covered soil this time of year). Nevertheless, the RA, God bless it, even “has arranged to have ten (10) {yes, they used the numeral itself as well as the noun ten, assuming I guess that graduates of the local educational system lack basic literacy skills – end comment} people available for three days to assist residents unable to physically dig and carry plants with transplanting vegetation from within the LOC.” This is undoubtedly the most exciting thing to happen in Reston since the statue of Dear Leader ended up in Lake Anne a few years ago, or for that matter anywhere in the world since the invention or orange-flavored Metamucil. The area in question is the part of the Glade just east of Reston Parkway that is the next area to be nuked, er, restored, by WSSI. By the way, when I walked by there today, they already had plastic construction fencing up in the definitely non-DRB approved color of...bright orange.
Before you grab the chainsaw or pull the backhoe out of the cluster-approved carport, hold your horses for a second. Turns out this grace period of aboreal slaughter just ended. Our bad!

1 comment:

  1. I’m a neighbor of “Less Desirable South Reston” – you can call me “Reach 5”, as I’m directly affected by the next chapter of Treepocalypse Now as the deforestation project lumbers into my backyard.

    My invitation to slosh through mud and snag my clothing on thorny bramble was dated April 3. WSSI advised me of the upcoming April 18 excursion and encouraged me to RSVP by the Wednesday prior to ensure my brown bag lunch. The exact wording of the non sequitur was:

    “Since we will mostly be walking, we will provide a bag lunch, snacks, and drinks at the start of the meeting (that each person will carry) if you sign up by Wednesday night (April 15).”

    Good thing I was mostly sitting when I opened my mail. That sentence hurt my brain, which I was carrying.


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