Always Bet on Russet Brown: Could Reston Get a Casino? (Updated)

V. v. exciting news for those with more money than basic working knowledge of probability: Apparently two Northern Virginia lawmakers snuck a last-minute proposal into the current General Assembly session that, if approved, would allow casinos in very specific parts of Northern Virginia. Give us some one-armed-bandit blockquote, BFFs at Reston Patch:

Virginia Sen. David Marsden (D-Burke) and Del. Wren Williams (R-Stuart) introduced legislation on Friday that could make casinos a reality along Metro's Silver Line in Reston. Language in Marsden's bill narrows the location of a "casino gaming establishment" to "within one quarter of a mile an existing station on the Metro Silver Line, (ii) part of a coordinated mixed-use project development, (iii) outside the Dulles airport flight path, and (iv) outside the Interstate 495 Beltway."

Sounds like (v) Reston! And so, unfortunately, does this:

Marsden, who chairs the Senate finance subcommittee on economic development and natural resources, told the Business Journal that he was approached by developers with properties that would fit the type of development being proposed.  

Hmm. 

Anyhoo! Instead of wondering what dispiriting, open-space threatening proposals with sweeeeeeeet tax revenue to help sway otherwise open-space favoring local officials might be coming down the pike, let's think about what some exciting games of chance might look like in our plastic fantastic planned community. Fun!

Roulette: In keeping with DRB regulations, red and black numbers are replaced by Russet Brown and Harvest Gold. 

Mauvejack: Don't go over 21. Don't use white stone or red mulch. 

Baccarat: Sure it's confusing, but no more so than figuring out how to buy a pool pass.

Texas Hold 'Em: Beats the donuts of the same name.

Slots: Gotta do something with all that change now that the Toll Road is going cashless. But the minimum payment begins at $11 and will increase every few years.

Craps: For once, not what you get if you take a dip in one of Reston's lakes.

Sportsbook: Will your 4th grader's soccer team beat the spread? Maybe, if you hide the opposing team's halftime oranges and juice boxes! Ruthless? Sure, but we're guessing there won't be much local golf to bet on if this proposal goes through, if you get our drift and we think you do, the end.

Update: Hunter Mill Supervisor Walter Alcorn apparently doesn't like to live dangerously. In his weekly newsletter, he said he was not particularly in favor of a fun floating riverboat casino on Lake Anne, or whatever. Give us some good blockquote:

Although this issue has not been discussed by the Board of Supervisors, the idea of using the most valuable commercial and residential real estate in the region on a casino strikes me as foolhardy. In my decades exploring and building plans and consensus on transit-oriented development in the Dulles corridor this was not the type of development or “community” anyone ever brought up. This is a bad idea on multiple levels (including the emerging concepts around equity in land use) but I am confident our excellent delegation in Richmond will do the right thing.

Update to the Update: The "excellent delegation in Richmond" did just that. Give us some legislative blockquote, BFFs at Reston Patch:

A last-minute bill submitted by State Sen. David Marsden (D-Burke) that would've paved the way for casinos to be built within a mile of Silver Line Metro Stations in Fairfax County was killed in committee on Wednesday afternoon.

At Marsden's request, the General Laws and Technology Committee voted unanimously (15-0) to have the bill stricken... Marsden was approached by developers with properties that would fit the type of development being proposed. 

“It’s just too rushed, and so I’m probably going to have to talk to the individuals who approached me about it,” Marsden told Business Journal, declining to name them. 

It's a shame Silver Line gambling is now CANCELED, because we'd bet good money on who those individuals might have been, the end.

Lake Audubon CANCELED: Are Other Reston Waterways Next? (Updated)

Shocking news out of South Reston, where one of our beloved lakes is about to be CANCELED, like some tawdry loose-lipped Hollywood star. Give us some politically correct blockquote, BFFs at Reston Now:

Reston Association’s Board of Directors has begun preliminary conversations to consider launching a community dialogue on potentially renaming the lake, which is named after 19th century artist and known enslaver John James Audubon.

The move, pitched by at-large director John Farrell, would kickstart a community dialogue on the possibility of a name change. Early next year, Farrell and others will host an exploratory meeting with area stakeholders to discuss whether or not there is interest in changing the name of the lake.

“It seems to me that there needs to be a reconciliation of our fundamental founding principles of inclusion with this guy’s history,” Farrell said at a Dec. 15 board meeting.

Audubon enslaved at least nine people and was publicly dismissive of the abolitionist movement.

Actually, this is definitely worth considering given Reston's principles, which were at odds with the rest of suburban Virginia at the time of its founding.  Even the storied Audubon Naturalist Society is changing its name for the same reason! 

But this could be just the beginning. Are any of our waterways safe? Consider:

Lake Thoreau: Named after a guy who spent a night in jail. Even worse, look at his own lakefront home:

Moss-covered siding? Window trim and mullions that aren't the right shade of Weathered Russet? That unauthorized shed in the back? We bet the Concord DRB had a field day with this guy. 

Verdict: CANCELED

Lake Newport: As befits fancypants North Reston, named after an exclusive New England town—you know, real whales and sails, cobblestone streets, cut of your jib territory. But fancypants Newport was the center of New England's slave trade—and more than half of all slave trading missions across all of North America. What do you think paid for all those fancy mansions?

Verdict: Not even close. CANCELED. We're serious about this one -- it's gross. Rename it Lake Woonsocket or Pawtucket Pond or something.

Lake Anne: This one's a bit tougher.  Googling "Anne Canceled" on Bing dot Com brings up something about some Canadian Netflix series called "Anne with an E" not being renewed after its third season, which is apparently what passes for news in Canada along with maple syrup shortages. It was described as a "quintessentially Canadian story." Just look at this picture:

Verdict: Do we look Canadian? Remember the War of 1812 and shout CANCELED, with a side of backbacon, or whatever. Cry, Tim Horton, cry.

But those aren't the only Reston waterways! The RA website also highlights Butler Pond (classist—CANCELED) and Bright Pond (unfair to the visually impaired—CANCELED). Then there's Difficult Run, which is about as ableist as it gets—TRIPLE CANCELED. South Lakes Village Center should really be renamed the Village Center Between the States. And as people who have trouble reaching the top shelf at the grocery store, don't get us started about Tall Oaks, the end.

Update: Our favorite correspondent, the Peasant from Less Sought After South Reston, adds some other locations that may fall under the baleful eye of the CANCEL crowd:

Angel Wing Court – offensive to atheists and Satanists

Buttermilk Lane – agita-inducing to the lactose intolerant

Chapel Cross Way – see Angel Wing Court above

Church Hill Place – ditto the above. Also offensive to ex-British colonies

Fairwind Way – burrito eaters object

Grey Squirrel Lane – hurtful to black, red, and albino squirrels

Hemingway Drive – Papa was way too macho

Hunt Club Road – PETA objects

Indian Ridge Road – change it to Native American Road pronto

Lofty Heights Place – flatlanders want equal treatment

New Dominion Parkway – wait, the Dominion is back? Didn’t Star Fleet whoop its ass in Deep Space 9?

Trophy Lane – change to Everybody Gets An Award Lane

Whisper Way – shhhhh! Not for those with hearing loss

In Reston, What's Old is New Again in 2023

Everything old is new again, even in a plastic fantastic jet age planned community like Reston! We've been blogging about Reston for so long that we remember the last time that print newspapers were a thing, and here we are, holding this one in our slightly more wrinkled hands. So what will be new for Reston in 2023? A lot of the same—only with better prepared food options. Let's get right to it:

A Dream Realized

Restonians have been lobbying for Wegmans to come to whatever vacant space was currently available for years, and thankfully the grocer found a more suitable location than a storefront at Lake Anne without hot water. Scheduled to open on Feb. 1, the new Wegmans location will keep us from having to head to Loudoun County for sushi and spanakopita (or as they call it in Ashburn, "those fancy spinach and cheese triangles we serve on Bunco nights.") Also, Barnes & Noble is returning after a decade-long absence. We've had a great used bookstore and a great independent one all along, but now might be a good time to relearn how to read.

Metro Fun

We're so old we remember when Loudoun County's board of supervisors narrowly approved the Silver Line extension into its vast particleboard-dotted interior by exactly one vote, but now if you want to ride the train to Ashburn or Innovation Station (whatever THAT is), you can! Jetsetters may also want to consider taking the Silver Line to its new station vaguely near Dulles, where the moving sidewalks on a convenient underground walkway to the terminal will serve as a slightly less irritating ride than the airport’s People Movers. It's been a tough road to get here, what with rusty tracks, defective cement, recalled train cars, the mass shift to remote and hybrid work, and (insert one of the dozens of shocking news stories about Metro Phase 2 construction here). Let's hope Metro can get its collective act together and remain a (mostly) functioning transit system. Reston's got a lot riding on it, even if it's just to avoid paying $11+ to take the Toll Road to the mall in Tysons.

No More Mr. Nice Guys

For the past several years, the developers who bought both of Reston's golf courses out of what must have been a sheer love of the game have been Deeply Concerned about Robert E. Simon's vision, as expressed by their extensive studies of the dangers of invasive plants, low "walkability scores," and the dearth of nearby amenities like, wedunno, axe-throwing distilleries where you can get an artisanal shave between swings. They've promised Grand Parks and Conservancies and Linear Parks, all out of the goodness of their hearts, in return for which they just asked for just a soupcon of development in just a teensy corner of what was once green, English-ivy infested open space. They wanted to be "good neighbors," to correct the longstanding North-South Reston divide, and to support the original "Reston vision," inasmuch as the original Reston vision involved building a boatload of townhouses on empty land. Heck, one even offered an open bar at its “community input” meetings!

Well, since virtually no one bought into these respective visions, expect some less neighborly language in the year to come. Instead of "invasive ivy" and "access to amenities," we'll hear words like "by-right development" and lots of ginned-up conversations on social media about NIMBYs, as if there have been loud protests against all the other high rises and office space that have gone up right along the Toll Road, which is where development should be happening, not in what little open space remains in the entire region.

Soviet Style Elections— and some big money ones. With five open spots on the RA Board of Directors, it's looking once again like we'll have a Soviet-style ballot in which many races will have exactly one candidate. That's a shame, because while serving on the RA Board is only slightly less thankless than having to deal with Gladys' purple door if you’re on the local cluster board, it's an important job, especially now. On the other end of the spectrum, the terms of the current Fairfax County Board of Supervisors expire on Dec. 31, 2023, meaning all of those seats will be up for grabs in November. Most, including our own representative on the board, Walter Alcorn, say they're planning on running for re-election. Remember that last time around, a non-golf-curious property owner recognized that a development-friendly Hunter Mill supervisor was worth $255 a vote, and it’s starting to look like the stakes for this election will be even higher. 

What else? You know, the usual—wondering what midscale chain emporiums will be arriving. Watching new buildings go up and wondering if any of their corners will meet at a 90-degree angle. Grousing about pools, pickleball, and paint schemes. And blogs. No wait, those were never in style, the end.

This post was originally published in the Reston Letter.