Bedbugs, No, MJ, Yes: What The Internets Can Tell You About Reston

The great thing about the Internet, along with giving a weekend visitor to Reston something to brag about, is all the fun things you can learn about your community without even leaving the house. That's been the motto of this lazy filthy "web log" for years, but we've found a couple of new sites that provide detailed, if somewhat specific, news you can use.

First, the good news: Reston is not a haven for bedbugs, which are apparently eating New York City and much of the Midwest alive. While many of this fancy bedbugreports.com site's eyewitness reports detail sad nights spent in sad hotels in sad places, like the "Last Chance Motel in Pathetic, Wyoming" (not really), apparently one intrepid correspondent got bitten in the InterContinental Paris LeGrand, which is pretty darned fancy -- unless it's located in Paris, Texas, in which case we'd be more worried about being harassed for staying at a hotel with some foreign word in it than some minuscule insects.

So great. Yay Reston and its lack of bedbugs! But according to another website pointed out to us by a Confidential Restonian Operative, while we're insect free, we've got plenty of "roach clips," or whatever the kids today call "marijuana cigarettes." According to this fancy "web site," which is probably run on a hemp-powered server (George Washington and Ghengis Khan weaved baskets with hemp! It should totally be legal!), the "wacky tobaccy," as the kids today don't call it, is going for $75 for "an eighth" in our fair community, which would be awesome if we knew what an "eighth" was. On the bright side, it's apparently "high quality," much like our color palettes and midscale retail options. Meanwhile, in Ashburn, the stuff is apparently going for $120 "a quarter." Does that mean it's cheaper out there in the particleboard hinterlands, or more expensive? We might be able to calculate the number of deer on a three-quarter acre plot of land to the fourth decimal place, but this math eludes us.

Of course, we don't condone such things, and even the ging-powered site warns users that Virginia "strictly enforces" and is "socially highly intolerant" of such behavior. Someone be sure to tell these kids.