Need a Quick $100? Can't Sing? Has Craigslist Got a Gig For You!

For once, the craigslists has a Reston listing that doesn't involve swapping sexual favors for used furniture:

I am willing to pay $100 cash (must come to Tysons corner to collect) to anyone (or any group of people) who would deliver a loud ridiculous singing telegram (preferably in costume... the more ridiculous the better) to my girlfriend (who is at home right now in her apartment in Reston). I will write what you sing (it probably won't rhyme). It was her birthday yesterday... and I kinda missed it. I knew it was coming... she already got a significant birthday gift last month, but I'm pretty sure she was expecting another gift and I was empty handed. You can sing it to any tune you desire. Please email me, selling your abilities to accomplish this task (video or audio preferred).